Transitioning to College after Loss
With so much focus on the benefits of higher education, and the hard work it took to get there, many students (and their families) are surprised about the not-always-so-smooth transition that they experience as they move to college. The excitement about new friends, interesting courses and independence are often the focus. This often does not allow for the other realities including loneliness, loss of routines, bad food and stressful roommates. And that's just the reality for most incoming, first-year students. Add in a loss, and these challenges are exponentially more difficult. Today, we will talk about how to prepare for college after a loss (whether that loss be recent or a long time ago).
There has long been a lack of support for college students' mental health, in general. Limited visits to the counseling center, lack of staffing, waitlists and stigma have all created a host of reasons why college students have not been getting the emotional support that they may need. Burnout, before the pandemic, was hitting a tipping point, and is now a crisis amongst many therapeutic staff.
Some students have always had to think about navigating their world differently. If they have a peanut allergy, they probably checked to make sure that there are peanut-free eating areas, or that they are living in a dorm with a roommate who can be respectful of their needs. A student in a wheelchair likely will check to make sure that their classrooms are accessible and that they have access to an accessible bathroom in their dorm. But for grievers, they may not think about preparing for their needs in the same way. A few basic tips can make a big difference, though. So if you are grieving a loss of any kind, consider these ideas before you get to college:
What is the availability of the counseling center?
Find out how many sessions you are entitled to, and what the typical wait time is. Learn how to make an appointment in advance (can you do it online or do you need to call?) so when you are ready to make a call, you know what you are doing. Put the contact information in your phone so it's ready when/if you need it.
Are you able to continue seeing your own therapist?
Some people may be in individual therapy at home. Check with your therapist, especially if you are going to school out of state, to determine whether or not they will be able to continue to see you. If you are in an online peer support group, you can typically continue from any state, but individual therapists have state regulations that may bar them from seeing you if you are in another state.
Grief is not a disorder, so people typically are not taking medication to "treat" it, but if you are taking medications for other physical or mental health issues, you do want to make sure you are able to access and store these appropriately. Call you local pharmacy in advance to arrange for pick ups and make sure you have a safe space to store medication.
Remember self care!
We all have things that we enjoy doing, or have things we think may find interesting. Learning about student-run organizations that allow you to continue with hobbies, exercise and socializing are all ways to take good care of yourself. If you tend to isolate, learning about these organizations and scheduling a meet-n-greet for a few days after school begins may be the motivation you need to meet new friends and stay involved in things that bring you pleasure.
ICE (In Case of Emergency)
Even with all of the preparation you can think of, sometimes it just gets to be too much. You can prepare for that too! 9-8-8 is a new crisis hotline that is available 24/7 for people experiencing a mental health hotline. Add that to your phone as well.
NotOK is a free app that you can also download. It allows you to add contact information for the people that you would want to contact if you are not OK. While you are contacting them, the app provides you with resources to cope with a mental health crisis. You can then let them know when you are OK.