Grieving While Final(ing)

Final exam season is upon us. Perfect timing, right? Stuck right in between Thanksgiving and winter break, in just a few short weeks in the middle of the hustle and bustle of holidays, is the most difficult week or two of the semester. And for students who are grieving a loss, the holidays can be particularly stressful. This stress may make concentrating, absorbing information, and motivation all a challenge. See where I'm going? Grieving students have significant challenges all semester long, but cramming for finals when grief may be heightened even more just doesn't seem right.

What to do? As an adjunct professor myself, I struggle with accommodating all students, most of whom are going through something (even if it'a not a death loss). Here are a few suggestions for students to work through the grief while also preparing for finals during the holidays:

• Study in short bursts with planned breaks.

  • Breaks can include a nap, a walk, a snack, exercise, a shower, or something else you find enjoyable. It can also be a time to talk with friends to release some of your feelings and memories .

• Try to stick to a regular bedtime routine.

  • Even if your paper is due at 11:59 PM, set your own deadline of 3:00 PM so you can wind down and go to sleep when you are ready.

• Don't forget to eat.

  • If you don't have time to cook or stand on the long cafeteria lines, pack some nuts or string cheese for a study snack.

• Use a journal to write about the experience of grief during the holidays/final season.

  • You can buy a special journal just for your grief or you can set up a note page on your phone.

• Find a support group or therapist.

  • College counseling centers may be particularly busy at this time of year. Online therapy may be an option if you can't see someone at school right away.

• Let your teachers know that you are having a hard time.

  • Ask for extensions, modifications or weighted grades if necessary (obviously, it is up to the teacher to decide whether or not they will accommodate these requests, but the answer will always be no if you don't ask!)

• Remind yourself that your grades are not everything. Your mental health matters. Keep that perspective (You may want to even write that down on a piece of paper and carry it with you to read when you are getting particularly stressed out!).

• Breathe.

*Just a note to also validate that some of these (or all of these) may not work for you. These are just suggestions. Find what works for you. Toss what doesn't. Your grief is your own and the healthy ways you cope will also be your own. You do you!