Holiday Hints for Grievers
Holidays can often be a challenge for grievers. But during a pandemic, special considerations need to be made to make sure that grievers, and those that support them, are getting what they need. Here are our 10 holiday hints to include the person that died in your holidays as well as make sure you are taking good care of yourself:
Place a holiday tree outside of your home. Invite friends and family to decorate the tree with an ornament in memory of the person that died. They can let you know they are coming by so you can have a socially-distant opportunity to connect with them, or you can let it be a surprise each time you go outside to see who was thinking about you and/or your person.
Make your person’s favorite holiday meal. You can send people the recipe and you can all make it on zoom together and share stories about your person cooking or eating this meal.
Give back. Research has shown that giving back improves our own resilience. You can donate money to a charity, volunteer your time, or commit to acts of good for people in need.
Give yourself a break from the pressures of holiday celebrations. You don’t have to host a big family gathering this year, so why not change it up a bit? Order in, watch a movie, or create a new tradition if that feels better for you this year.
Create a playlist of your person’s favorite music. You can share the playlist with people that knew them, letting them know why you chose each song.
Treat yourself to a gift that your person would have wanted you to have. If you can afford to, think about the kind of gift giver your person was. Did they have a favorite store? Did they always buy the same gift? Buy yourself the gift they would want you to have.
Take care of yourself. You know what has been helpful for you in times of stress in the past. Rely on tried and true strategies for self care. Do more of what makes you feel good.
If your person had a favorite activity or tradition on a holiday, you can be the person that makes sure it happens for them. Incorporate their traditions into your holiday. Let their light shine through you.
Gift people a picture of the person that died this holiday. If gift giving is laborious for you, perhaps finding pictures of the person that died (even better if you have a picture of your person with the person you are gifting) and put it in a frame. You can even write a memory of taking the picture or of how the person felt about your family member or friend.
Light a candle in their memory. Light it before any holiday celebrations or traditions as a way to include them in your observances.
Obviously, all of these tips won’t work for everyone. Try one or two if you are looking for ways to observe the holidays this year after a significant loss.