Let’s Talk about Triggers
Sometimes, we need a break. I have spoken before about the fact that taking a break from grief is just as important as focusing on it. I have encouraged people to engage in passions or hobbies as a way to use healthy distractions when they are grieving. Sitting on the beach, reading a book, watching a comedy or rigorous exercise may be ways for some people to focus on something else for just a little while. Doing so allows us to refuel and re-energize for the emotional and physical work that grief is.
But sometimes, even breaks can be triggering. My first thought as I was watching the Oscars and the violence that we witnessed live was of the survivors of violence and the grievers who were left behind because their person was not so lucky to survive. What many thought would be a few hours of looking at pretty people in pretty dresses may have turned into an uninvited, re-traumatizing reminder of all that they have lost. And the aftermath of watching someone who had just perpetrated violence on someone else win an award with all of the accolades that come with it, may have actually been worse than witnessing the event in the first place.
It reminded me that we cannot always avoid triggers. We cannot plan for what we will see, hear or smell. We cannot truly take a break from grief, because we never know when it will be forced upon us. So, for those that were watching and had to witness an event that may have caused additional harm, I see you. Here are several resources for people affected by violence that may be helpful to you:
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233
Common Justice- www.commonjustice.org
Futures Without Violence- www.futureswithoutviolence.org