The Importance of Relationship in Grief

Grief is one of the most isolating experiences people can go through despite the fact that we all will experience it at some point. The intense feelings that come with significant loss make us feel vulnerable, naked in some way. We often try to present a façade of ourselves to the world that includes the pieces of ourselves that are confident, in control of our emotions and smart. When someone dies, we often feel insecure, out of control, emotional and unknowing.  It’s a very vulnerable experience. So, it makes sense that we may try to hide that part of ourselves. The problem with that is that if we expend all our energy trying to look like something we are not, we won’t feel understood or connected to others. And it’s exhausting!

Making an effort to stay connected to our authentic selves and stay connected to positive support systems can minimize the feelings of isolation that often come with grief. But how do we do that?  Well, we do it through relationship. Relationship is key. That doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t evaluate and reevaluate our relationships that are not helpful to us at different points in our lives. But it does mean that we need to put effort in healthy relationship with others. Some of us may only need one or two authentic, supportive relationships in our lives. Others need many. Some of us need close physical contact with the people in our lives, and others need more space and can develop strong connections to others online or through writing. Some of us connect to professionals while others need more peer support.

Think about the circles of support that are all around us as we grieve. Who is there for you? Who do you need to reach out to for additional, or different, support than you have been receiving? Use this worksheet to think about the supports in your life. Do you have the supportive relationships that you need? Where can you reach out for additional connection?