I’m Fine. Or Not.

"How are you?" "I'm fine." How many times do we each say these words every day? "How are you?" has become the new "Hello" and "I'm fine" is the new "Hello to you too!" When we ask the question, most often we don't actually even expect a response. If we do expect a response, we don't expect someone to go into detail, that's for sure. We say "How are you?" as we walk down the street, passing the intended recipient of our question faster than the words leave our mouths. Often, this phrase and the lack of anticipatory response is not meant to diminish anyone else's experience, but it is merely used as way to greet people.

But what happens when I'm not fine? When someone asks me, even casually, how I'm doing, and it brings up actual feelings? Now what? If you are the one with feelings, you are often left, literally standing alone on the street, with a lot of feelings. Now, that's not to say that we should all stop asking how one another is doing. And today, I'm not going to focus on what we should do instead of asking. Today, I'm talking to the grievers. I want to build up your vocabulary so that when you are asked, either in passing, or in a meaningful conversation with the time to provide your authentic response, you know what to do.

Download this tip sheet with possible responses for grievers when you are asked the inevitable, "How are you?" And let me know other responses that you have found to be useful in this situation. I love when I hear from you!