The Trauma I didn’t Know I had

I went to two live concerts this weekend. TWO CONCERTS! With people singing and dancing! Like normal!! Do you remember normal???!! We've been so careful for so long and I have been looking forward to a weekend filled with music, good food and some friends. And we did it! And it was amazing!

And also, it wasn't. I mean, it totally was. It was everything I was hoping it would be. But in the middle of it all, I felt very anxious and sad. As Billy Joel was singing The Entertainer, it hit me how much I have missed live concerts. And then I had this rush of intense feelings about everything else I have missed. And I know we have all missed so much - some of us much more than music and indoor dining - but it wasn't until I had the opportunity to experience it all that I began to absorb the longing I have been holding in for the past two years. I imagine it feeling a bit like a car accident that you walk away from relatively unhurt. You feel the initial impact and the sense of fear that washes over you. But after a minute or two, you move your arms and legs and take a deep breath and understand that you got through it. Phew! You get out of the car and take about 20 steps away from the accident and turn around, only to see your car totaled. Oh my goodness! What just happened? How did I actually survive that? It's only after walking away and putting some space between yourself and the crash that you can see what you just went through. And being in the concert venue, as amazing as it was, and as grateful as I am that I was able to do it, did it hit me what I have been through for the past two years.

I share this story as a cautionary tale for all of us working in higher education. Just because we may be going back to a sense of normal, our students (and indeed ourselves!) have been through A LOT! As we move further from the "crash" we may actually experience more of the trauma that we have been through.

I spoke to a colleague in a financial aid office at a large, public college who said that the pandemic will not be an acceptable reason for students to appeal any financial aid lost due to poor grades. Adjusting to college after the pandemic is not "good enough" to merit a poor academic standing and students will have to have a "better" reason for not doing well if they need to appeal financial aid. I spoke to another friend, a preschool teacher, who said that the pandemic is having immeasurable effects on new students who have not been socialized the same way that students had been just two years ago. They are less able to read social cues, have more difficulty sharing, and have more separation anxiety than previous classes. That's not to say that they didn't learn other things while spending more time with their families, but these skills, at least anecdotally, appear to be lacking. Who knows how long educators will notice these, and other, effects of the pandemic. But certainly right now, the pandemic seems like a valid reason for many students to be struggling, academically, socially, physically and emotionally. I hope this newsletter is shared with as many colleagues in colleges and universities across the world as a reminder that just because we are heading out of the pandemic doesn't mean that the effects of the pandemic disappear. The preschool children may have noticeable differences in 15 years when they are applying to college that have not gone away. I hope that everyone working with students will honor the trauma that we all have been through for a very long time.